"Listen up, everybody—Buick used to be the KING of American luxury! The absolute BEST! Beautiful cars, powerful engines, soy, so luxurious—people LOVED them! But then, the so-called 'experts' came in, they got weak, they got lazy, and now? Total disaster! Sad!
But don’t worry, folks, because we’re going to make Buick GREAT AGAIN! Here’s how:
MUSCLE & STYLE—We’re bringing back REAL American power! Big, beautiful V8s, sleek designs—none of this tiny, boring junk. Buicks will be STRONG, they’ll be FAST, and they’ll turn heads like never before!
NO MORE LOSING—We’re tired of seeing Buick get crushed by Mercedes, BMW, and Lexus. TIRED OF IT! We’re going to OUTSELL them, OUTCLASS them, and make Buick the 1 luxury brand in the world—BELIEVE ME!
MADE IN AMERICA, BABY!—We’re bringing jobs BACK to Michigan, BACK to Detroit, where they belong! No more outsourcing, no more cheap parts—only the FINEST craftsmanship. The best people, the best materials, the BEST CARS!
WINNING AGAIN—We’re going to sell so many Buicks, you’ll say, ‘Sir, please, we can’t take all this winning!’ And I’ll say—TOO BAD! Because Buick is BACK, bigger, stronger, and more luxurious than EVER BEFORE!
Get ready, folks—because under MY leadership, Buick will DOMINATE the roads, the showrooms, and the competition! Buick will be GREAT AGAIN—and it’s going to be BEAUTIFUL! Thank you, God bless Buick, and God bless America!"[赞][doge]
